A friend of mine once asked a group of girls to be honest about being hit on. She said, “I don’t care if a homeless man has just climbed out of the garbage dump, if he whistles at you, you still think, ‘Yeah, I still got it.’” Many argued with her, but I laughed and agreed. #issues
Yesterday I was leaving a store after having been fitted for my 24th bridesmaid dress. That’s another blog, but just know I’m trying to catch up with Katherine Heigl. I walked out of the store and two men walked by and one said, “I like your trunk.” I looked around because I was not in a car nor was I near my car. The man grinned at me and I tugged my shirt down. My friend Eric asked me if I had on an elephant costume. Seeing as how I do not normally leave the house (or stay in the house) in my Dumbo costume, the answer was “no.”
I started to think about other times I have been “hit on” or stories my friends have shared.
Recently my friend Haley was hit on by an older man in Thailand. He asked her to come die with him. Was this his version of The Notebook?
Let’s not forget the cross-cultural approach: the one-legged Russian war vet who asked my boyfriend at the time if he could borrow me for the night. Um, no.
Or what about the carload of guys who pulled up to me on campus and asked if I, “got down with the brown?” Jesus, take the wheel.
Here, however, is my all time favorite. This is where my brother-in-law or fellow New York City Cru friends would say, “You’re an idiot.” I spent a few summers in NYC with Cru and there was a lovely OLD Pakistani man who worked the front desk/entrance to the building. Sweet old man. First mistake was to think old=sweet. He brought me gifts, asked me to dinner and I said, “Please bring your wife.” (Here I will note that I almost said, “Please bring your wife, Papaw.”) He did not want to bring his wife. He wanted another wife.
It’s a jungle out there, women. Stay strong and away from old men.
I would love to hear your best, “Did he just say that?” story, because we all need to laugh a little more.