Men! Who needs ‘em? I hear this statement time and again from women who are walking various roads of life. Some have been deeply wounded by fathers. Some have risked and have had their hearts broken so they make a vow to stay away from men. Others take the “strong, independent woman” identity, and make sure it is known that they are “okay” and the last thing they need is a man.
I have a confession. I need men in my life.
“Need” and “neediness” are two different things.
Need – to require something because it is essential or important
Needy – wanting or needing attention, affection or reassurance, especially to an excessive degree
There’s so much shame associated with “need.” I think it’s time we busted that out of the water.
I need my dad to call.
I need Darren to call out vision for a new season.
I need Brad to call me out when I start to shut down.
I need Greg’s words of care for me as his sister.
I need Joe to fix my toilet and get angry when my heart is hurt.
I need Jarrod to believe in me as a woman who can lead, serve and speak in the Church.
I need Fred to ask the hard questions and call out the real Beth.
I need Chris as he is one of the only people who can sit with me and I not have to explain my family because he was there.
I need Hank because everyone needs a Hank.
I need David to tell me to walk away from a toxic relationship. Not once, not twice, but three times.
I need Jerrod to laugh with and to be realistic with.
I need Peter to sit down with me on my birthday, put his arm around me as I’m weeping and say, “I believe God wants to give you the desires of your heart.”
I need to see Chris sit at my feet and pray over me and weep as he prays for the “not yet.”
I need to hear Chad say time and again (unprompted) – “There is nothing wrong with you. You are a catch.”
I love my girl friends and my sisters. I love that they know me and we can connect deeply. They bring their own unique flavor and element to my life, but there is something about the weight of a mans words that have deep impact on the lives of so many women. And I find this to be a gift. Healing, restorative and deeply moving.
In a world where tv shows, movies, talk shows, etc. act like men are complete morons incapable of washing their own socks and respecting women, I say “enough.” Are there those weak men out there? Sure. Just as there are women out there who play stupid, say “totes” a lot and use their looks to further their own agenda. But I feel there’s not enough honoring of our brothers in a way that calls out the most strong and best parts of who they are. This could be said of women as well. We have a lonnnnnngggg way to go in the gender struggle, but what would it be like to really help each other win? Men platforming, encouraging, and honoring women and women platforming, encouraging and calling out men to be just that…..men. I love and deeply value the men in my life. I need them and am grateful they are ok with that.